Monday, March 3, 2014

The things about it all is

Adjusting and trying to get over and get used to being treated by a mental disorder is as hard or sometimes even harder than having the problem. I say that because sometimes the dose isn't right and you have to play around with that, sometimes the medicine does nothing for you, or does so much it makes what was going on before look like a cakewalk.

So I've been in a weird transition period with my life, and really as odd as it sounds I'm having to learn how to live once again. That is what I've been doing or at least pondering doing while I've been away. But really it hasn't gotten me anywhere fast. I only say this because I'm not accountable to anyone but myself right now. I've just been sitting here trying to figure it out.

I have done a lot. I took my kids to the park together as a family and we had a blast.

I've been organizing my house, like with bins and purging a lot of clutter. I'm from a long line of hoarders and its embarrassing but I think I was using that as a coping skill? Either way my dumpster hasn't been empty for a few weeks.

I've helped my husband build up his leatherworking business, well still in the process of that.

I've also been working on my taxidermy. But I'm not sharing it with anyone or anything. So while at first I though this blog was going to be about myself and being a mom. I'm thinking it's going to be more about me and this struggle to learn to live after being alive for so long and suffering in silence with a disease that I still don't fully understand or don't have full control over.

I have good days, I have great days, and then I have days where I want to hide under the covers and not come out from them. But in the end I've got to learn that even with everything that is going on I do have some people that understand I just need to branch out from what I normally do and learn a few more things. Time is short, it is for everyone really, but if I don't use it to the fullest I'm going to be the one to lose out in the end.

So ya know....let's do this!

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