Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Thursday, December 26, 2013
I'm going to stumble as I go along and that is okay. The first step is this blog really because I am going to use it to basically document a year of treatment and trying to live the life I need and want to live. Maybe we will all learn something in the end. I'm not really sure.
The basics are I have 3 kids - all boys.
A husband who has to work more than any of us would like.
And I have been having panic attacks so badly they were taking over every part of my life. In fact they for the past year have almost taken it away.
I went to a psychiatrist at the beginning of this month. It was after I had pulled my husband aside in the yard with tears in my eyes saying "I need help." Those three little words have led me here.
I have GAD - Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Panic Disorder with agoraphobia
I always thought depression meant that you were just sad all the time, or at least I guess that is what I always gathered from the commercials for all the different medications that you see on television. Turns out it is just the total lack of interest in anything, I'm guessing I have been so into my own head about this that I didn't notice that I was sad because I really didn't care that I was sad.
Depression is really a horrid thing, and I'm trying to work through this and an irrational fear of basically everything. This should be an interesting year. I'm going to go slow at first, I was told that was wise, but there is so much living out their that I want to do and that I hope that I am able to do.
Thank you for anyone that ever reads this, hopefully you gain something from it.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Especially when most of that week you are too sick to do anything anyway. Which is where I have been for a week. A nasty wind blew in and took me out with it. I was actually not aware that the human body was capable of holding and then expelling so much snot. I also sounded like I had smoked my whole life, and could hardly breath when the head cold decided that the real party was in my chest.
I probably would have gotten better sooner but on the second night of the head cold part a raccoon attacked my chicken coop and took out a good portion of my flock. So in cold night air I ran out with my husband to try and save them. Well I have two left of the original five that I started with. Thankfully they weren’t all killed as one of my girls, Nymeria, did not go into the night quietly by any means. If I am not mistaken I do believe some neighbors were out talking about the sound and trying to figure it out. Sadly I can tell you now that a chicken can scream. I never thought I would like a bird so much but chickens have something that others seem to lack. Or at least mine did, I loved feeding them in the morning and listening to the little clucks and squawks I would get in turn. I had tamed these girls to the point that they would let us handle them without too much of a fuss. So needless to say I was a little sad to lose so many.
I did go and buy a live trap the next day, we saw the raccoon and decided that we were setting a live trap in case he were to come back. He hasn’t yet but if he does we are ready this time around. I also am adding onto and fixing my coop so it is even harder for such a creature to get in there again.
The good news? When I was buying the trap, I got to tell the story of what happened as we live in a very small town and we still like to chat before we buy anything. Sometimes those conversations are probably the highlight of the particular workers day. So he tells me that on Monday they would be getting some chicks in and I should come by. Of course I have to, because I just lost a good chunk of my egg layers and after eating eggs from chickens that free roam my backyard I can tell you now that store bought eggs just won’t do.
Long story short? I have new chickens! So along with crafts this blog will be getting updates of my new baby chicks. It’s exciting around here!
Monday, April 8, 2013
So living in a valley with mountains all around us has some advantages and some disadvantages. One of the constant things we have to deal with is the wind, it can get down right insane at times. I’m talking it is beautiful outside but if you tried to walk you would be knocked over because you dared to stand on one foot. It doesn’t happen like that often, but enough that it is really annoying and when you have things you wanted to do outside pretty much always know that is the day the heavens will split and wind will ruin everything you wanted to do.
Today was one of those windy days, my husband is outside working or at least attempting to work on this little greenhouse that we had bought and it isn’t going well. This is in some ways why I let him do these things I have a shorter fuse than he does when it comes to building things. I hide in the kitchen cooking food and he gets to figure out the hard stuff in the backyard.
So I had to go and pick up some items for dinner and yell out to him that I was going to the store, in case he needed me to pick something up for him. I’m awesome like that and always make sure to ask when I go somewhere. Sure I might roll my eyes about it, but at least I asked! So he glares at me, the full frustration from working in the wind in full effect, and asks for some wind be gone.
Cue me driving in the car madly trying to figure out what would be funny to alter into Wind Be Gone. My first thought was to buy a 6 pack of Bud and alter it to say Wind Be Gone because really if you are drunk you wouldn’t care about the wind. But he had already bought a 6 pack and I’m trying NOT to encourage alcoholism in my house.
I’m at a lose really, and it’s annoying. Then it hits me, what is another way to say fart? BREAKING WIND!
In case you didn’t know already I have 3 sons, and a husband who at times is no better than my sons. So four boys and just me, the only woman, there is a lot of farting in my house.
I have to give credit to Beano, that little tagline “and there will BE NO gas” really sticks with you as that is what I slipped into my basket along with the cooking oil and steak sauce for my little joke. I thought it was downright clever. I enjoy being clever you see.
Boys are on the couch and I hop over to Jarred with a huge grin and pass him the Beano and proclaim, “There is your Wind Be Gone.”
You could have heard crickets chirp, I don’t even get a grin. “You wasted money on this?”
WHY YES I DID! It’s not like gas doesn’t happen in this house so someone can take it and we could see if this stuff really works or not. I mean where is the gratitude? My joke made me laugh and after a few drinks he could see the humor as well, that greenhouse really got him angry.
I do have to say, if Beano works, I’m totally slipping it in the Kool-aid from now on.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
So this is the start of the Gen. III Pokémon cross stitch that can be found on spritestitch.com by the ever so talented user Servotron. The only one that I know of that has been completed would be the Gen. I version. However I do want to do that one as well as my love of Pokémon is great but sadly my room and ability to collect them is low. So crafting something this epic that can be framed and put up for all to enjoy satisfies my needs greatly in the nerdy thing of the week category.
I will try to take photos daily, or when I work on it as I cannot claim that I will work on it every single day. I do have to tell you that while I know how to cross stitch I have never really done anything past a simple sampler here or there. This is epic, this is crazy, and this might be a little big of madness mixed in. I am having fun with it though, and it is nice to sit and do something like this in my down time instead of watching my kids fight about who is breathing loudest. So wish me luck! I think I might need it this time.
While we are on the subject of how nerdy I am I should let you know that my checkbook is more awesome than yours. My husband, and sometimes me, are taking up leatherwork. I say sometimes me because I don’t do it really as often as he does, and my work speaks volumes about that. This is something he made for me, and I love it to bits. It’s Book from Hocus Pocus in case you couldn’t figure it out. I hope you’ve seen the movie and if you haven’t you really need to!
I’m just going to leave this as a craft update, and get you up to date with the family in my next post. Maybe I’ll do crafting Sundays…..maybe I won’t. We will see.