Monday, April 8, 2013

Wind Be Gone


So living in a valley with mountains all around us has some advantages and some disadvantages. One of the constant things we have to deal with is the wind, it can get down right insane at times. I’m talking it is beautiful outside but if you tried to walk you would be knocked over because you dared to stand on one foot. It doesn’t happen like that often, but enough that it is really annoying and when you have things you wanted to do outside pretty much always know that is the day the heavens will split and wind will ruin everything you wanted to do.

Today was one of those windy days, my husband is outside working or at least attempting to work on this little greenhouse that we had bought and it isn’t going well. This is in some ways why I let him do these things I have a shorter fuse than he does when it comes to building things. I hide in the kitchen cooking food and he gets to figure out the hard stuff in the backyard.

So I had to go and pick up some items for dinner and yell out to him that I was going to the store, in case he needed me to pick something up for him. I’m awesome like that and always make sure to ask when I go somewhere. Sure I might roll my eyes about it, but at least I asked! So he glares at me, the full frustration from working in the wind in full effect, and asks for some wind be gone.

Cue me driving in the car madly trying to figure out what would be funny to alter into Wind Be Gone. My first thought was to buy a 6 pack of Bud and alter it to say Wind Be Gone because really if you are drunk you wouldn’t care about the wind. But he had already bought a 6 pack and I’m trying NOT to encourage alcoholism in my house.

I’m at a lose really, and it’s annoying. Then it hits me, what is another way to say fart? BREAKING WIND!

In case you didn’t know already I have 3 sons, and a husband who at times is no better than my sons. So four boys and just me, the only woman, there is a lot of farting in my house.

I have to give credit to Beano, that little tagline “and there will BE NO gas” really sticks with you as that is what I slipped into my basket along with the cooking oil and steak sauce for my little joke. I thought it was downright clever.  I enjoy being clever you see.

Boys are on the couch and I hop over to Jarred with a huge grin and pass him the Beano and proclaim, “There is your Wind Be Gone.”

You could have heard crickets chirp, I don’t even get a grin. “You wasted money on this?”

WHY YES I DID! It’s not like gas doesn’t happen in this house so someone can take it and we could see if this stuff really works or not. I mean where is the gratitude? My joke made me laugh and after a few drinks he could see the humor as well, that greenhouse really got him angry.

I do have to say, if Beano works, I’m totally slipping it in the Kool-aid from now on.

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